Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Creative Woes

I have been in a creative slump lately that I find very frustrating. A lot of you know that I used to make jewelry and gave it up for many reasons (which I won't bore you with) and decided to switch to mostly origami and then perler bead creations.

Well, there are problems that arose that I did not foresee. The thing is I used my jewelry as a form of creation and expression, I used to to weave stories and paint ideas.
This one tells the story of me.
I used beads and charms, clasps and wires, to evoke dreams, capture myths, ride thunderstorms, and dance in moonlight. It was pure creative power! I remember going into what I called 'jewelry trances' where the creative fire would hit me most and I would make things till I could no longer see straight. At the end of my trance I would be surrounded by jewelry that I didn't remember making...ok, not entirely true...I remember pulling inspiration and ideas from my mind and making them tangible...the process of beading was just fuzzy.

Origami has a very different niche in my mind, it is therapeutic and meditative, the repetitive folds and vibrant colors relax me and help my arthritic hands (sometimes) but it does not have the same creative fire that the jewelry did for me.
I can weave stories with patterns and colors, for example that kusudama reminded me of Victorian wallpaper and tea parties. But it is not the same. The stars, the kusudamas and all the other creations are not really mine...some are recent (like Tomoko Fuze's beloved spirals that I enjoy making) and some are ancient (like cranes) The only real originality I bring to the table is what I do with colors and accents (jars, beads, tassels and such) It is one of the many reasons that in my shop I only charge for supplies because I did not design these things from scratch. It is still artistry and crafting but it is not raw creation.

Then there are the perler beads. Mostly I make nerdy game sprites because that is a pure celebration of my exceptional Geeky Pride.
Or my love of all things Chinese
It too goes into the same meditative category as the origami. This means I have a gaping void in my life that is driving me a bit crazy.

I have no desire at all to go back into beading, the idea feels me with great sadness. I am not the best at other artistic mediums, or really enjoy them for that matter. 
you say bad painting skills, I say 'primitive'
I dabble in writing once in a while, but prefer to write non-fiction. What can I say, when I want to tell a story I want to do it visually. I am honestly at a loss on what to do about this problem. Most my life my extremely talented mother
That woman has some MAD SKILLS
introduced me to every creative medium she could think of and it took until I was 15 to find one that I actually felt creative fire for. True I loved origami since I was young and obsessively folded things quite often, but it was more of a geometric hobby for me than artistic expression. I enjoyed sculpting but that is out of the question now that my hands are become more and more arthritic. So I don't know, maybe when I visit her this May she can find some new thing to inspire me.


2 comments:

  1. While reading this I was thinking, just wait until you visit my dear, we will find you a new or old artistic outlet. Beautifully written by the way. Loves

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    Replies
    1. I am surprised it is at all legible what with the horrid zombie fugue inducing insomnia!!! Maybe I will take up cross stitching again...who knows!

      Loves and I cannot wait for you to fuel my inspiration!

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